Sunday, July 31, 2011

ICC also dances to ECB's tunes

Englishmen and other classifications of two legged creatures trolled different parts of the world where people were killed for no reason, for no mistakes of their own. And Englishmen made rules for others, none for themselves.

Fast Forward to 21st century cricket, and ICC is being tossed around like a volleyball between BCCI's money basket and ECB's law-makers.

Don't sush me now, had some Yusuf Pathan played the switch hit, he would've been banned for life by ICC... Just because a part blonde Saffer on English soil did so, he was ogled at and handed the benefit of inventing a legal shot.

Fast Forward...

Broad gets away with like gazillions of accusations with not even a trip to the match referee's room. Sure, my teacher wouldn't scold a girl as much as a boy for the same offence, but things had gone too far. Beefy once went on air, pulled the camera to his face and said, what would in lay man's terms would mean, "no matter whose son you may be, you appeal to the umpire and not your nanny sitting behind fine leg. And you are not the umpire, just in case you forgot."

Oh, but uncle Broad...the saviour of British hind-part.

Swann today kicks the stumps, and is "reprimanded", no fine, no serious imposition of any ICC blah blah blah section blah blah blah by-law. A level one offence. I'm told it's his 2nd serious offence, and is bound to head to a fine.

I know ECB is poor, and is looking way to cut cost, but I don't think this is one of the way. That wife of ICC.

And if he did want to play footy, the Forests' stadium is just across the street. Nobody at Trent Bridge cricket stadium needs to watch a cricketer show some footy skills on a piece of wood that is not even round.

If Sreesanth had to pay fine for kicking the boundary ropes, if all batsmen around the world have to pay a fine for staring at the umpire for 2 seconds after being given out, if bowlers can't bowl for taking 3 steps on soil, then my rule book of cricketing sense says Swann's gotta be sued in a much stricter manner.

I wonder how kicking a rope is more dangerous to the spirit of the game than kicking the stump.

And just how beautifully explained that Window-Gate was! ECB does have capable ghost writers.

And Staurt Broad appeals more than Panesar and Akram and Muralitharan and Inzi put together. If that arse doesn't get a fine and ban imposed on him, you don't bloody have the right to call the fine on whopping 6 Indians. Mike Denness banned 6 Indians for atleast 1 test for "excessive appealing" in South Africa, while cheekily making sure the darn Englishmen can have an easy time in their tour of India while half the team (whole top order) sits out, banned. The man whom India feared a lot in those days is now playing only domestic cricket because the retard can't stand international pressure. And Denness wanted to cover for a team made of that? And Freddie's hairy chest he bared at the end of that tour? (duly repaid)

Quoting ex-Indian cricketer and current TN coach, W.V. Raman "Denness should go down in cricket history as a person who achieved the impossible."

Dear Uncle Broad, baby Barbie and useless, penniless, jobless, wusses ECB... get a life. Be a man, if you can be. Else, you are no better than #BleddyBCCI and its shenanigans.

Jelly beans? You sissies need cotton candies.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

10 reasons why you can't be as good as Devendra Bishoo

10 reasons why you aren't and can't be as good as Devendra Bishoo...not even half as good.

1. You are not a leg spinner who developed skills in the land of fast bowlers.

2. You are not a young bowler who replaced the Big Benn. Nobody does that. Bishoo does.

3. Your name isn't half as fun to lend an ear as it is when Tony Cozier says DayWayneDraw Bishwho.

4. You haven't made an epic debut in a World Cup.

5. Your can't possibly give a better interview in-front of a world audience and reduce Nasser Hussain's probing abilities to ashes, like the one in the urn he never earned n his career of 5 Ashes series.

If you haven't lost all the respect for yourself, read on...

6. You can't wear a smile on your face after losing twice in 2 games in the world cup and say that you are actually sad that the team didn't win. Some people break TVs and window panes for just getting out like idiots.

7. You are not a Caribbean. So, you are obviously not as cool as Bishoo.

8. You are not a no.11 batsman with a batting average of 17.20 .

9 & 10. You can't fly. You cannot fly. That seals the deal. Twice.

Look, even your frisbee feels ashamed.

Now, bow down to the legend.